I came accross these instructions for the perfect security system. No monthly fees or pricey monitoring is necessary. Just set it and forget it.
HOW TO INSTALL THE NEW HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
1. GO TO A SECOND-HAND STORE AND BUY A PAIR OF MEN'S USED SIZE 14-16 WORK BOOTS.
2. PLACE THEM ON YOUR FRONT PORCH, ALONG WITH SEVERAL EMPTY BEER CANS, A COPY OF THE GUNS & AMMO MAGAZINE AND SEVERAL NRA MAGAZINES.
3. PUT A FEW GIANT DOG DISHES NEXT TO THE BOOTS AND MAGAZ...
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